You know that feeling, when you make sure to buy a crib with non-toxic finishes, along with an organic mattress, organic mattress pad cover and organic sheets, because you are not trying to be obsessive or anything, but you do not want your most precious little bundle breathing in toxic fumes all night long (well, at least after you actually move her in the crib after almost half a year)? And you get a bit anxious one Sunday and make sure all those toys going in and out of the mouth all day long are wood with water-based dyes or at least plastic that is recycled and BPA, PVC and phthalate free because it is her mouth, for crying out loud? And you try to introduce just seasonal, sustainably grown produce for the most part, though you occasionally have to round it out with plain ole organic or even conventional (because an avocado-a-day habit gets expensive), and once you did give her Gerber pears, and though a small part of your rational brain knew that was perfectly okay you did feel mildly panicky about it? And you buy overpriced toiletries in the name of superior quality even though you should probably be way more concerned with the major freeway in your wildly polluted city so close to neighborhood you walk through every single day? Then, one weekend, after a year of intending, you get your husband to make a run to Home Depot and buy a DIY lead test kit and he does it and that chipping paint on the windowsill in the nursery tests POSITIVE?
And then your husband does a few more tests, including a retest of that one spot, and they all come back negative, but you figure you should probably get a professional in to make sure? And you get things in line to test your house and yourself and your babe? And some people, like your doctor, are reassuringly relaxed about it, and other people are making it seem like inevitable doom and in the midst of it all you are legitimately calm? And you can somewhat appreciate the irony of parenting choices and home ownership and life in general?
Yes. That’s been the past several weeks around here.