Which do you want first? Ben always wants to hear the bad news first. I think he likes ending on a positive note. He’s so cute. I like fluffing myself up with lots of lovely thoughts first, and since I run this shindig we’ll start with the good.
Ben and my sister do not have to walk in a parade, and we now enjoy the option of swigging drinks with the rest of the spectators
I can partake in the wedding morning mimosas before a dear friend’s nuptials
(I promise these don’t all have to do with alcohol)
I have endless hours to write all the stories and thoughts trapped in my head
I am free two precious hours twice a week to sweat through my favorite yoga class
I have pretty strong external motivation to shrink our food budget
And time for homemade dinners, baking and canning to make that a little easier
We can join my brother in a West Coast train adventure
I am definitely free to float the river
I can most definitely attend the wedding shower for my old summer roommate and travel partner extraordinaire
The other bridesmaids and I do not have to rearrange a bridal shower around some mandatory weekend work
I am unemployed, encore
At least there is more good than bad.
During my three and a half months of unemployment, I longingly anticipated the day when I would wake up, actually change out of my pajamas, brush my teeth before dinner and go to work. Not only did I crave the additional income, I just knew that gainful employment would boost my productivity. How could it not? No matter how earnest my resolve the night before, without real incentive I frequently slept in until 10 am, wasted hours in the vacuum of Facebook and still struggled to manage basic household tasks. Somewhere I reasoned that a consistent schedule consuming nine hours of every day would harness my inner superwoman, resulting in a pristine home and still leaving ample time for creative pursuits.
I was delusional. The piles of Wrigley fur lining the floors, un-etched bottles crowding above the kitchen sink and inactivity on this little blog say it all. Yet somehow I still cling to the hope that it can be done. I keep reviewing the math in my head, hoping to find a magical hour hidden in between making breakfast, packing lunch and walking Wrigley. I found 15-30 minutes in the morning, but I do love spending them checking email and piddling online while I drink my raw chocolate shake. If I’m going to find time anywhere, I think it comes down to the three hours each evening. Making dinner, picking up around the house, quality time with Ben, hanging out with friends, television and internet are all contending for the three precious hours I have between getting home from work and making it to bed in time to get the eight hours I refuse to deprive my body.
Right now television and internet, the bastions of zoning out, are winning the competition for my time. Some things did not even get a chance to compete. I quickly relegated yoga and grocery shopping to the weekend. Thankfully they still receive the attention they deserve, but the empty promises I make to finish everything else on the weekends are futile. Now, like the budgeting of earlier this month, I must sit down and come to terms with how much I can afford to spend. A great episode of Seinfeld or Modern Family or 30 Rock makes me too happy to forgo them in order to gain some extra time, but I think I can give the aimless online wanderings the boot. I’m hoping to have a blog post or such to show for it.